One More Chance
by One Damned Wolf
Summary: She lost the only person she considered her life and her world and now she is trying desperately to nurture back her broken heart.


**One More Chance**** - **A Shizuma x Miyuki fanfic *lick* *lick* ***slurp***

I quietly made my way across the hallway, making sure that nobody catches the glimpse of my shadow. Bringing out the spare key, I opened the door, silently but also skillfully and made myself in.

"It's been awhile since I've been here." I mused, feeling almost nostalgic.

I closed the door behind me. The room was tiny; no more that it could only fit 4 people in it. It has been neatly arranged, untouched that it looked almost secluded for more than a hundred years.

The room brings so many memories however. Painful memories to be exact, yet why does my feet drag me here even though it hurts? But I knew, even Fate would, that I have been attached so much to this place, for I have loved the person that lived here in just a short period of time with all my heart and my soul. That is why, unconsciously, I've been protecting this; the place of my memories with her, the only fragment of the paradise that we have dreamed that survived.

I walked towards the small cabinet and opened it. I took a picture frame inside, and leaned on the wall, looking rather melancholic at the picture of two women: One was sitting on a chair and the other had wrapped her arms around her, both were full of joy.

"_Shizuma?" A soft, whisper like voice echoed inside my ear._

"_Hmm?"_

_She wrapped her arms around my shoulder as if comforting. I felt the warmness of her body; the warmth of the woman whom I have loved more than anyone else in this world. I smiled, and returned her affections._

"_At the end of the path that you're walking, surely there exists a brand new world." She started with a serious voice. "There I'm sure you'll encounter someone new." _

_I looked at her bewildered._

"_What are you talking about?"_

_She cupped my face and made it face her own. I was drowned by the flames of her crimson pools. As much as I wanted to indulge myself more, her face was stern and full of determination that I could not move._

"_Shizuma…I won't last long."_

_You'll be all alone…_

"Kaori…" I felt all the strength of my knees left me, and so I fell on the ground. Tears nearly came pouring down, but I endured and choked them all in. Ever since then, I vowed to myself that I'll never shed a tear, since Kaori didn't cry while she herself was facing death everyday. I have to stay strong for her sake even if it makes it hard for me to act as who I was.

"…"

God help me. I have no idea what to do next. Even if she said that, how can I move forward if I still feel this lingering attachment towards her? There is no another someone. I have told her that she was my life, my world and a day without a fickle of her presence is just like a day without a color from a palette. That is why I chose her as my partner when I was nominated as the Etoile, to be like a star just like the title, a guide who could fill all the gaps and emptiness I had in me. She understood everything and loved me as I am. Sakuragi Kaori was the beat of my heart, and I, Hanazono Shizuma, was not ashamed that such creature had captivated me utterly.

I heard the door creak. I stood up, and a woman's voice beckoned me,

"What are you doing here, Etoile-sama?"

My seemingly quiet reverie was interrupted by a blue haired woman entering the room. I hid the frame inside the cabinet again as quickly as I could, hoping that she did not see me looking at it.

"Oh, it's you." I bluntly replied, no longer surprised of her appearance. After all, only she and I have the spare keys for this room. "I'm not doing anything, Miyuki. Just paying a short visit, that's all." I paused. "And stop calling me 'Etoile-sama' all the time." I added with a dry smile.

I heard her suppress a laugh. By the way, this woman in front of me is Rokujou Miyuki. Apparently, as far as the students are concerned, they say that we're close friends, in fact, _too close_, that we're rarely seen apart from each other. I have no idea…I guess having her companionship had been such a normal routine for me, even though I've been a loner in nature ever since.

"It's you? You're trying to sound it like we're just strangers, Shizuma." She smiled wistfully, and looked at me. I averted my eyes and avoided eye contact for a moment. Miyuki's eye brow twitched a little from suspicion. Bad move. Now she'll get a clue that I was up doing something fishy again. Fortunately, to my relief, she gave up her curiosity and said something different,

"It's a fancy seeing you here. I thought you were going to make yourself busy plucking flowers in the garden, especially that exceptional one who seems to have gotten your attention--- Aoi Nagisa-san." I flinched a little when I heard the name of Nagisa. Miyuki looked at my reaction with a grave look, as if showing she was amused.

"I thought so." She said. "You're too easy to read, Shizuma."

I stared at space for a few seconds, finding the correct words to spit out and replied in disbelief. "Nagisa is exceptional indeed. The only thing that piques my interest in her is that she seems different--- free ---unlike the others."

I continued, "If you're going to compare her to the other students, she seems to be the only one who cares not about Miator's strict policies and traditions. She just moves according to her own belief of what a school should be. She must have been in a rambunctious school during her middle school years and---"

"---and she reminds you of yourself _before_?" Miyuki said, half sighing and half chuckling. "We all know that Hanazono Shizuma was a delinquent before she turned Etoile." I growled and replied at her with a tone of annoyance, "Shut up, compared to Nagisa, I'm definitely much prettier and reliable." Miyuki burst out laughing and I could feel my embarrassment level rise, although it doesn't show on my face.

"Ahahaha--- Etoile-sama, aren't we confident?" She patted me on the head, and stopped to say, "I concur with the pretty part, but reliable? That I give a very big objection." I looked at her; she seems to be in her 'Tease-Shizuma-like-hell' mode judging from those childlike expressions that she is giving. "I told you to quit with that title." I growled at her again.

"Okay, Shizuma, how about finishing the paper works now? Here, I'll escort you back." She mockingly swayed her hand down like an escort, and smirked. I gripped her hand and lifted it up. "Stop it. Like hell I would go back" I snorted, my heart had already been struck by an arrow of guilty conscience.

Miyuki sighed, "How about finishing your job now, graduate, find a boyfriend and then get married?" She told me. "Look who's talking. You're the one here who's enga--" I saw Miyuki bit her lip with a painful expression while still putting up her smile. I proceeded no further. The topic is just too sensitive, too fragile to be opened up. Miyuki wouldn't want to hear more from it and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

I heard her voice out my name. "Shizuma?"

"Ah…"

"Is there something wrong?" She asked, facing me with eyes full of innocence.

_Miyuki's eyes… are so deep, and sad…_

"No, it's nothing, nevermind." I turned my back at her, making sure that she doesn't see my surprised reaction.

_A pair of beautiful, swallowing auburn eyes…_

They are surprisingly beautiful enough to draw me closer, but I can't say that to her now, can I?

"You okay? You've grown quiet."

"Yeah, was just in a deep thought." I nodded.

"Shizuma," She looked at me, cool and composed. "You…have grown taller."

I gave her a puzzled look.

"Is that so? I have no idea." Honestly, I was already tall during middle school, that's why I stand out most of the time. And now, I'm the second tallest woman in all of the three schools, standing only lower to Ootori Amane from St. Spica.

"Let's say, you've gotten quite…charming." She giggled, and looked at me with full of intentions. "I'm sure, someday; Amane might even fall for you."

I reacted half-amused, "Quit with that, stupid.", and gave a pout with half opened eyes. "I don't give a damn about princes, since I like being one myself."

"Indeed," She mused in agreement. "So get a life now, do your paper works and join a club, you slacker."

"Ms. President, your real job is to cover up my laziness."

"Don't give me that." She slapped her face softly in disappointment. Miyuki has been working hard for my sake since I usually try to escape every paper works passed on to me, so here I am trying to endorse the slackers club in its full glory. "I want my break too, you know?"

I leaned on the wall and looked outside through the window. "The snow is beautiful, isn't it?"

"Don't change the subject!"

She replied furiously, a dangerous aura forming all around her.

"Errr…"

I could not do anything but stay bewildered, but in order to calm her down, I need to give a semi-honest response for once.

"Okay, fine already… I'll attend once in a while."

I saw a gleam of joy in her eyes.

"God, I still have no idea why Kaori---"

I felt that I could not breathe. My heart felt like it skipped a beat the moment that name resonated inside, stirring every part of my body and even my soul. Miyuki gasped. She began cursing herself for being so careless; knowing that _she_ had became a significant person in our lives, most especially to me, and mentioning her now had been a taboo for the both of us, for it can stir grievous, sad emotions.

Minutes passed without the two of us speaking a word.

And so, after the uneasy silence, she started,

"Shizuma, I know what you've been through." She said softly. Miyuki was trying her best not to show her feelings of concern, but this woman in front of me have already seeped so much of her self that only I had seen during her times of weakness.

"You no longer have the reason to come back here."

I could feel the tone of sadness in her voice. I have no idea what to say next. I wanted to reply honestly, but my mouth wouldn't let them out, so in its stead, I decided to joke it off.

"I'd rather choose to be here than to freeze outside. The location matters not." I replied, smiling while at the same time looking outside through the window. Autumn had already left its grasp on the world, and now winter had welcomed itself in. Beautiful snowflakes were falling from the heavens, creating a breathtaking land of snow.

"True, but…" She smiled as well, and gave me a short glance. Her next words hit a sore spot in my heart.

"You're not really the greatest liar I've met, Shizuma." I stepped back slightly, feeling my energy being drained out. "W-what?" I kept digging for words, but none came out.

"You wouldn't be here with just that kind of reason."

Miyuki walked closer, closing our gap and pinning me to the wall. Miyuki is as tall as me, though lacking just a few inches, so one could get the upper hand depending on how aggressive the other acts. Her hands moved swiftly, making me unable to retaliate any further. Her right took hold of my both hands and raised it on air. We stood there silently just looking at our reflections through each others eyes.

Amused to the extent of having feelings of forbidden chill, I asked her with a mischievous smile,

"Have you been reading about this kind of stuff lately, Miyuki?"

The icy atmosphere dissipated, and Miyuki reacted by blushing in a dark shade of pink up to her ears. I tried to get near her face, and blew on her ear, making her gasp like a little girl. She released my hands in order to push my face away, but I continued the teasing more. I grabbed her waist and pulled her slender body closer to mine while I made myself to her ear once more to nibble it, and then after that, I gave her neck short trails of kisses.

"Shizuma! Stop it!" I heard her let out a soft moan, while her hands were trying to push me away.

"For you to react like that, have you already fallen in love with someone?"

She stopped her resistance as if all of her strength had left her, and just looked at me with a blushing face, something I rarely see from her, and eyes that pierced me with such pure gentleness.

I smirked. I could not help but be amused more at her strange reactions.

"You're so cute, Miyuki."

"Shizuma, you're----mmf."

I silenced her bickering mouth by crushing it with my own. I proceeded slowly, feeling the sensation of her soft lips. And then it came to me, the feelings I've held hidden inside myself, I could hardly recognize them anymore.

_Kaori… It feels…nice…_

When I glanced at her, Miyuki's eyes were as big as saucers, and her body had turned stiff. I took her by surprise by ramming my tongue inside her mouth. After a few seconds, I broke the kiss and looked at her suspended body. Her auburn eyes had become lifeless.

I was caught off guard when she suddenly raised her hand, and slapped me on the face.

"You're such a cold hearted person…"

The hint of pain she placed on my face wasn't more obvious than the pain in her words had brought in me. She then fell on the floor, knees first.

"...Re…ot…air…"

Her mumbles were whispered, and I cannot fathom it. Her face had been covered by her hair so I cannot clearly make visible of her expression as well. Despite her enigmatic face, I saw Miyuki's lips quivering.

"Miyuki? What's wrong?" I asked her. She's a bit out of herself today. If you look at it now, she's emotional and a bit aggressive whilst the original is an ice queen, totally composed and has a sense of humor that could easily match mine. Besides, kissing her now wasn't much of a big deal, I mean, I've already kissed her so many times, but this was the first time she defended herself by slapping me.

I heard a sob and then a weak cry.

"Miyu---"

I was a bit startled. I know for the fact that Miyuki was a cry baby. I really had to nanny her before because of her home sickness, and fortunately, my deeds had paid off. She had changed into an independent person, and is now the council president of Miator. From a total cry baby ranking to that honor, it is something commendable to everyone, even to me.

But now, she was crying again in front me just like she would before.

I kneeled in front of her and apologized for taking the joke too far.

"You're not… fair." She said in a shallow voice and a face full of tears. "You're really not fair, Shizuma…"

I had already gathered the things I wanted to ask, but before uttering a word, she started speaking again,

"I can feel it…" Miyuki said coolly between sobs, looking at the floor. Her fists clenched and were gripping the carpet tight.

"No matter how hard I try, I can never reach your heart."

I was struck speechless. I felt knives piercing me in all corners and I wanted to scream from utmost pain, but I kept myself silent in order to save myself from falling apart. Miyuki started wiping her tears away and faced me, touching her bottom lip with a finger.

"When you were kissing me, Shizuma, you weren't thinking of it as an amusement, but rather… you were kissing me like a lover would to his partner…" She paused.

"You kissed me as if I was Kaori."

"You…"

---lie. Can I say that even if the truth was overbearing?

"You're so cruel…"

"…"

"For you to ask me if I already have fallen in love with someone, without even understanding how I feel… I feel so pathetic right now."

I don't understand her anymore. Miyuki seems to have been concealing something deep inside herself, which even I do not know. I thought I know her more than anyone else, aside from the fact that she was involved with me two years ago, and now I have come to the realization that she was the person whose feelings are so well guarded that it seems almost impossible to penetrate.

"But I…I can't help it… It wasn't my choice to feel this way."

She faced me again with a face brimming with tears.

"Answer me, Shizuma."

I gulped at the end of my name, fearing the next words might break my façade.

"Do you still love her?"

Her voice was more forceful than before. Her auburn eyes gazed fervently at my amber ones. Miyuki stood up and walked towards the small cabinet and took the picture frame. She looked at it and whispered, "Kaori…" Her voice was full of nothing but pity.

I could sense her demand for an honest answer, and I know I have to give it to her for the sake of giving her some peace.

"Yes." I sighed. After I said that, a part of me was enlightened, while another clinched in disgust. The dead cannot return. My feelings might have been mutual at start, but when Kaori died, it will forever stay one sided. I know it's impossible to love someone whom I could not even feel, touch, and kiss any longer, but…

_Kaori had a special part in my heart that cannot be filled by anyone else. She knew that._

"I still love her, Miyuki, and nothing can change that." I looked away, breaking free from Miyuki's determination. The futility of it all was saddening. I am ashamed of myself for loving someone this intense, but I was not ashamed of myself as a human who acted practical in the matters of the heart. Now, I must face the consequences of my actions.

"That's why; I'll continue to live, carrying the burden of my past inside my heart."

Miyuki snapped. She laid the frame on the desk. She then proceeded to walk closer to me. Holding both of my shoulders, she then shouted,

"Don't be a fool, Shizuma!"

_I already am._

She caught my full attention once again.

"You don't have to continue living in a lie that'll just make you suffer!"

_Kaori suffered, while I didn't…_

Miyuki was on the verge of tears again. I bit my lips to stop myself from speaking and just continued to listen to Miyuki's voice. It hurts, on my part, to hear the words of truth especially since I've lived for almost two years in a world of deception.

"I know it's hard to forget someone whom you've shared a deep relationship with, but…"

Miyuki then leaned her forehead on my chest and whispered,

"Kaori is dead, Shizuma." She said, "Please, move on now."

How many times have the people around me said that in an almost sympatric way? I couldn't swallow reality, since I've decided to lock myself somewhere in darkness. I pretended all the time not to care, not to understand every word spoken, but the truth was that my heart had already bleed too much as I ignore all the things around me. Funny, there I was building my own wall to keep people away from me, and it was my own lies that shattered it almost effortlessly.

_When Kaori died, my heart died together with her._

I could feel Miyuki's tears damping my uniform. Her arms locked on my waist in a gentle hug, so comforting that it could nearly make me cry. I know it's a sin to feel this, that's why, for all my life; I've desperately tried to sway off this feeling.

"Kaori is everything to me…" My voiced sounded inaudible that I could barely hear it, the silence around devoured it instantly.

"No. Return to me, Shizuma, I want to see _you_ again." This time, it was her turn to whisper, and I could actually feel her feelings for me. So deep, and gravely wounded.

To be honest, I don't even know myself anymore. I didn't spoke back; instead, I let out that despondent sigh I've been holding in all day.

"Miyuki…" I held both of her shoulders. She looked up in daze, tears flooding her face. I moved my hand and wiped every fat tears that kept on falling. There was something that she wanted to say, but she held them off because of my serious expression. There was a forthcoming silence, and after a breathe, I stated a fact,

"When a heart is wounded, it doesn't heal in just an hour. Instead," I took her hand and rested it close on my chest, allowing her to feel the pulse of my heartbeat. "It turns into a scar; a scar so deep that you'll have to carry it for a life time."

Miyuki's hands were clinging on my clothes in a manner of not wanting to let go, as if the world was ending around us, and for some reason, I couldn't find it in myself to look back at her. There was a part in me that wished I could laugh and say something witty, but I've come to the startling realization that I no longer like the person I've been pretending to be.

"I'll be okay, though…" I smiled at her in reassurance. "It doesn't hurt that much compared to the past two years…"

"Shizuma, it pains me to see you smiling like that while you're suffering deep down inside."

She touched my face and traced her fingers along my eyes down to my steady lips with slow movements. I feel like I've been enchanted by her actions.

"It's okay to cry once in a while…"

I held her tighter, bringing her face close to mine. With my cheek resting against hers, I whispered into her ear, my voice suddenly weak. "That is too hard, Miyuki. I don't want to keep on running but I don't have any other options..." There was something fragile in those words, that it made look bare in front of her.

"Shizuma," There was a flame of passion in her eyes that I've never seen before. No longer was the woman I'm holding the Miyuki I've known two years ago. The cool and composed woman everyone idolized; the dependent and crybaby who I always give comfort to, for this one held a hidden indescribable power of gentleness which she gives only to me. It felt soothing. "Don't be afraid of the fall." She placed the palm of her hand against my cheek. "You're not alone, I am falling with you."

"Let's run together, Shizuma." She added before moving her hands and completing the embrace. "I will carry whatever that you carry so desperately."

The room was cold but the insides of my heart were burning. The winter wind had crept its way inside, blowing through our skin. I shivered. Miyuki instinctively pushed herself closer, giving me a source of warmth, and for that, I was thankful. We both nestled closer at each other, and as the spell of silence came upon us, I started reliving the days of my happy times. The days I was stillmy true self, I, who was liberal and free from the biting sarcastic remarks the current Shizuma would say.

I knew I needed this closure; it has been something that I've wished for so many years. I was absent from human touch, absent from human affections; the sensation that makes your insides warm unknowingly, not knowing anymore how they all felt so good. While I was lost in my thoughts, Miyuki suddenly pulled away, leaving my body freezing again from the cold.

"Shizuma…" Though it saddens me that she pulled away from the contact, I don't know why it feels so nice to hear the ring of my name if it is Miyuki who is saying it. Probably, I've grown too much used being called 'Etoile-sama' all the time by the students, that I cannot blame myself if, sooner or later, I'll forget my own name and drown from the title I've hated ever since I lost that special part of me, who was also called once by that.

I was completely unprepared, when she took off the upper part of her uniform; her chest visible and a key shaped necklace hang on her neck, glowing in a soft sheen. Miyuki turned her face away from me. Her face was red, so red that I was surprised that she could actually feel that way.

"Miyuki?"

I was even more shocked when she leaned forward and kissed me full on the lips. It was just a quick brushing of her lips against mine, but sooner grew intimate at her own impatience. There were tears in her eyes still, but her voice was clear when she finally spoke, "I need you, Shizuma." Her hand fell neatly into mine, and I couldn't do anything but to accept dumbfounded.

It felt weird. I've kissed so many women before, and not once have I felt this way. All of them would happily tell me that they felt good, whilst I couldn't care less. It wasn't anything serious anyway. I knew for the fact that I just did those to satisfy my feeling of loneliness. A void of emptiness I've wanted someone to fill, even though it was useless.

But, I never knew it would feel this way. I've given people everything I had, but despite that, I never stopped for a second to feel the things they give to me in expense; I just selfishly continue giving what is due, and in some cases, more than that. No… only in Kaori's case, did I appreciate that; the thing that they call, mutual sharing.

She was different. Whenever I look at her, I could feel my eyes shone in a different way than when I look at other people. In front of her, I was small and weak, and she was my pillar. I did not regret being loved by her, so I instilled those memories into me, so deep that it hurts to know the reality of her being dead.

This is… impossible. The attachment has not been broken yet. I cannot love for the second time unless she permits to.

"Miyuki…thank you, for taking custody of my heart for so long." I gripped the key hanging on her neck. This key is the visible form of the memories Kaori, Miyuki and I had shared two years ago, and Miyuki had kept this with her everyday, like a memento of the deceased Etoile. She served as its guardian, and only now did I realize that she was carrying the same burden. Of course, I wouldn't selfishly say that only I felt sadness when Kaori died, Miyuki felt that too. After all, Kaori was once an important friend to her.

"But, I'm sorry…" I leaned closer to her, my face covered by my long platinum locks for I didn't want to see her pained eyes. I didn't want to give her a rejection, but this was better than lying to what I felt. My words would just make us suffer more; but they will give me an excuse to run farther away. I will run, and have everything turn back to the way it used to be. This time, however, I am afraid; afraid of the consequences that will follow me through out.

She became serious all of a sudden, and she took a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it over to me. There was an expression of hesitation in her face, almost as if she had held this hidden and that only now, she thought, is the right time for it to appear.

"What's this?"

She held back her words for a few seconds before letting them out.

"It's a letter…from Kaori."

My eyes went wide open. There was a feeling of terrible longing rushing into my being. It hurts to remember, but it is even more painful to forget. I never knew such folly existed. I have tried my best to forget the remaining feelings I still had for Kaori, but the more I force myself to, the more it made me long for her presence. I am an unbelievably cheery person, but that is only because I'm trying my best to hide the real pain, for the truth is, the world had already become dull in my vision.

I nervously took the paper, my emotions prevailing over my good sense, and it stopped me from speaking a word and I'm revolted of what I was just thinking of only moments ago.

"That was given to me two years ago by her."

I faced the folded paper; my shaking hands were uncontrollable. Miyuki had turned her back, giving me a little privacy, with words rising in the back of her throat.

"It's her last words…for you."

My mind was caught in turmoil. 'Read it!', my heart was screaming; 'Don't!', while my mind objected. The deafening silence was intimidating. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I need to gather every ounce of my strength, and break the delusional world I've been living by reading her last testament. But the young woman standing next to me was showing a different emotion, it looked so pitiful.

Grinding her teeth and with a heave of a sigh, she uttered something with a voice that sounded defeated, resigned and totally helpless.

"This is the moment that'll determine where your heart will go…"

I wanted to speak and ask her something but the words seems to have vanished. In my sight, Miyuki had become small, shrinking away from me while at the same time taking all the sadness with her.

I opened the letter, and prepared for the worse outcome.

--

_To Shizuma,_

_ I know that when you're already reading this letter I've entrusted to Miyuki, I am already dead. My body had become very weak before the start of the Etoile ceremony, and I'm very sorry for lying to you about my condition._

_ But don't worry; I do not blame you, and I will never do so. I've already accepted this. Death is such a grave thing to accept, but in accordance to the one facing it, it can also be a means of salvation._

_The truth is… my longing for death had been unquenchable in every passing minute. I've waited silently for it to come, just so to end my misery. But, that was before I've met you, Shizuma. You, the one I consider my life and my world, gave me hope and a will to keep on fighting. I knew it was a foolish thing because I've already known my approaching demise, but I was thankful, that someone came into my life, that in my moment of depression, I've forgotten, even in just a second, the fragments of death that I see everyday._

_Shizuma… While I already came to accept my doomed fate, you, who is all loving and caring, are a free person. You're not meant to be kept for too long nor must your freedom be bounded to my cursed one. Your wings are always spread wide that they only wait for their owner to flap them and they marvels me so. Love if you must be, share to others what you have shared to me. There is no greater joy than to feel the loving thoughts of other people and giving it back to them, and you, yourself, have made me realize that._

_ I know that there is someone just beside you that loves you as much as I do. That person may not appear now, but someday, for sure, that person will come and mend your heart from a loss._

_ …I have no more time left, so I'm going to write out the real essence of this letter. I want to tell you that even if the world ends, even if death had already claimed me, my feelings for you will never change._

_I love you, Shizuma._

_ Meeting you was the greatest gift I could ever ask for. _

_From,_

_Kaori_

_--_

One tear drop. Two, three, four, five; There were uncountable warm waters that sprang falling from my eyes. I could feel my face burning from the tears that had drowned it. It's strange. I never thought I could still do this. There was a dull sense of pain in my chest, that it clobbers me from feeling it. My numb heart had accepted something it shouldn't have and was now facing agony.

"Ugh…"

I can't. I can't cry. I've made it my covenant not to do so for her sake. It hurts, but I knew this was my punishment. I've stayed strong for all these years because I was terrified of learning the truth, even though I already knew how foolish I was when I thought about that. The consequences of myself falling apart, was to accept and face the real pain I've been escaping for so long. Reality will finally show its face behind the mask that I've wore throughout the years.

Despite that,

_I love you, Shizuma_

Plummeting to the ground, I whispered her name. The sorrow in my voice could no longer be hidden. I'm sick of this. I'm sick and tired of running away. Why? Why did you have to die and leave me all alone?

"Kaori… Kaori… Kaori…"

She left and took my heart with her in her grave,

_Meeting you was the greatest gift I could ever ask for._

But she also made me realize the freedom I have always possessed, forgotten in the sands of nothingness.

"Shizuma!"

For the first time in my life, I've succumbed to my weak self and shed the tears that I was supposed to let fall during the years I've stayed strong. Full of nothing but grief, I extended an offering hand, waiting for someone to save me from this pain. Miyuki rushed to my side and gave me the embrace she made me feel awhile back.

I could no longer feel my surroundings; it was as if I'm back from my colorless world, but the warmth of the person I'm cuddled at helped me from leaving my senses. There was a profound silence as I let out the pain. Sobs and cries were the only things that echo through out the room. Kaori is dead. Now the last thing that I have to do is to accept that and move on.

"Shizuma…"

"Give her back to me… Give Kaori back…to me, Miyuki…"

Miyuki had a dismayed look in her face. There was more that she wanted to say, and as she gathered her thoughts and sorted out her emotions, she continued.

"Please… give me a chance…"

The embrace became fervent and I was no longer crying alone. There were tear drops damping my face, mixing with my own tears as they fell from oblivion. She was too, and the intense feeling of sadness was swallowing us completely.

"You've stayed strong through out these years, haven't you?"

Gently, she stroked my hair just like a mother would to her child. I felt secured, warm and so…tired from everything.

"It's okay. You can cry more."

I have released more than enough of the burden, and now I feel dead tired from crying out the pain. I wanted to speak, I wanted to comfort Miyuki, who was suffering all alone but the intense feeling of weariness had already devoured me. I lay rested on Miyuki's lap, her gentle stroking didn't seized, and before going to a slumber that I needed, I heard her whisper.

"I love you…Shizuma."

My vision had been filled with darkness and I was filled with peace at last.

---

"…"

"…"

The two of us went out of the room with silence as our third companion. None of us spoke a word after what had just occurred, but I guess this was better than saying nonsense things after a solemn recollection of memories. I wanted to say something though, but when I looked at her, Miyuki was facing the opposite direction.

I felt a warm hand touched my cold, callous one.

"What are you thinking, Shizuma?"

"Too many things that my head is about to explode."

I sighed. I heard Miyuki gasped a little when I answered her touch by interlocking my fingers with hers. She seems to have gotten the message, and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Miyuki…"

"What is it?"

I tilted my head and leaned back. The smell of her shampoo was amorous; I could easily get drunk from it. I paused for a few seconds, savoring whatever I must savor from this simple bliss of silence, and then said,

"A lot of things had happened… and I… don't think I can forget my feelings for her so easily…"

"I know."

"But…"

Closing my eyes, I gripped her hand firmly.

"Will you wait for me until then?"

I was caught off guard once more when she leaned again and gave me a long kiss on the cheek.

"I will, even if it'll take you more than ten years."

We then started moving, with our fingers still interlocked with each other, along the hallway, away from the room with so many dark memories.

There are so many things that I need to think through right now, but I'll save those for later. For the moment, I'll indulge myself with Miyuki's gentle presence and her unparallel love that I have ignored for the past few years. I know I cannot answer her feelings right now, but someday, I'm sure… I can finally set Kaori free from my heart and love for the second time.

"Okay, slacker! To the office we go!"

"Aw, damn it! I've been tricked!"

The colorless future I had thought would be welcoming me had become something brighter than a rainbow. I feel so warm again because I have given myself one more chance.

_Farewell, Shizuma… I bless your new found happiness._

END

--------

**A/N: **Ah, yes! I'm finally done! Whoo…I'd have to endure a freaking writer's block just to write the crappy ending. Kind of familiar with the Inuyasha x Kikyou fanfic I gave you, huh? Well, excuse me for being creative (sarcasm). I just thought that Shizuma's feelings for Kaori were so deep that, if you have watched Strawberry Panic through out (hardly), she wasn't able to get rid of her feelings for her through the entire season. O.o;

Ah, yes. This is AU. Yep. Miyuki wasn't the one who gave Shizuma the letter, but it came very significant as it was the only thing that knocked Shizuma back to her senses once more. BTW the letter was made by me. 0.0;

The ANGST at the middle part was so intense, and with the BG "Aozora" – by Lia, I was crying my little heart out again. (Just made me remember how saddening AIR was… I'm so stupid! .)

I want Shizuma to stay depress! That's the beauty within her! XD


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